Jacob Zuma is like a clingy, annoying and ignorant lover. First, he steals all your money – that goes to rent and electricity. And he uses it for a luxarious house and swimming pool, but there are hundreds and thousands of people out there living in poverty (perhaps even million, since SA’s population is close to 60 million now.) There are so many communities who don’t even have toilets or water. So, as a country we use common sense, we break up with him, but he won’t stop calling or texting.
14 February 3am, message alert from Jacob Zoo-ma-f*** (as saved in my phone): “You know you still love me boo-boo, give me a chance. You’re different compared to all my other wives.” And you’re like… “Happy Vacancy day, Zuma. I am done with all your shit.”
I mean, come on! ANC, and the rest of South Africa, is not interested boi!
Happy Vacancy Day Zuma, I hope today is as empty as your brain.
In case you didn’t hear he wants to freaken stay for another 3 – 6 months. *Laughs in corner* – You’re kidding me right? Just by him protesting that he wants to stay, the rand to dollar went up – from R11.88 at 14:00 to JUST under R12 by 15:30. For once I like what the ANC wants. They won’t tolerate this clinging. Beeld’s cover story, Wednesday 14 February 2018, states: ‘ANC sê nee vir Zuma wat klou‘ translation: ‘ANC says no to Zuma who clings’ I need Trevor Noah right now. I need him man. This is hilarious.
Thanks to this week’s Beeld, we have some amazing sayings from, Zuma, our ex (who won’t accept the fact that this relationship clearly is over.)
Jacob Zuma’s words:
1. Just before the 2004 election: “The ANC will rule SA until Jesus comes” – Zuma
Jesus: *inserts meme* “how about no”
2. Remember Trevor Noah’s story with the American, ignorant surfer girl?
Noah: Aids is like chocolate. If it gets messy, just take a shower.
This was a satirical joke aimed at Zuma, because he is the one that said that showering can decrease the risk of AIDS. (At a meeting about rape) oh okay, cool.
The entire country back in 2006 – present: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
3. ‘When growing up, a homosexual would not stand with me. I would hit him.’ – 2006
4. ‘When you vote for the ANC, you choose to go to heaven. When you don‘t choose ANC, you should know that you are choosing that man that has a pig, and that cooks people.’ (2011) I’m not making this up! If only he completed school, he would of done so well in creative writing – don’t you think? He’d fail mathematics and oral reports – but he would pass english because of his creative writing essays that’s for sure!
5. ‘Prisons are used by people who cannot solve a problem. Let‘s solve an African problem in an African manner, not in a white man‘s manner.’ (2012) Do you see what he is spreading? What kind of thinking he is promoting? God save the people.
Explains his confidence in stealing money. Corruption is his national anthem – racism and hatred is his flag, and he is very proud. And the award for worst president in South Africa… goes to this man.
6. ‘Sorry, but we have the most rights here, because we are the majority. You have fewer rights, because you are the minority.’ (2012) If so… why are large amounts of your people without water, electricity and toilets? Please give me a call.
Human rights are for everyone, not selective groups you moron.
7. ‘A man by the name Jan Van Riebeeck landed in the Cape on 6 April 1652. And that was the beginning of all South Africa‘s problems.’
If he wasn’t white, would you still say that Zuma?
Your birth was South Africa’s downfall.
See. How does that feel? Stop drawing conclusions – and I’ll stop calling you an idiot.
I wish we were all colour blind.
The government is not doing anything about the farm murders. Katie Hopkins (journalist from overseas) was banned from leaving the South African airport because apparently she wanted to share racial hate, but all she wanted to do was inform the outside world about all the shit going on in South Africa: farm murders. And I understand that she has a reputation of controversy. But the journalist code of ethics says in black and white: SEEK THE TRUTH AND REPORT IT. This is the damn truth! She was just doing her job. South African government, wow, Amazing. You lack justice, integrity, honesty and the list goes on but you don’t have time for this – do you?
Government be like: Leave when you’re not happy, not when it’s hard.
The rest of the country: uhm hello?
South Africa lacks so much, because of the imbeciles governing our country! Happy vacancy day.
Maybe if our government changes, we won’t have the reputation of ‘Shithole countries’ as labeled by Trump.
Our prisons are packed… rapists and murderers are lurking the streets…
You don’t pay taxes, jail sentence!
Ah, you raped someone? Cool man! Go rape more people!
Happy Vacancy day!
May we all prosper in this shithole full of potholes, racial discrimination and injustices!
Ranting is a hobby right? 